a day in history

October 7. This is kind of a self-anniversary. This time 3 years ago, the proverbial cocoa was hitting the mixer, if you will. I was about to embark on this voyage, that I'm still on today, towards personal discovery. And one of the biggest skeletons of my entire closet was about to dive into hiding. Without disclosing too much of my personal demons, we'll just say that I got dumped, for lack of a better phrase. Now please don't confuse that with me being "over" the relationship... apparently I like to drag that process out and drag myself through the mud all the while.

It's amazing now to look back and admire the process. Singlehandedly though, the past 3 years have been the most painful to date. I feel like there were all sorts of other skeletons that had been hanging out that I never dealt with at the time. Heartache, betrayal, death of loved ones, and wearing myself thin for everyone BUT myself eventually took it's toll. It took several blows to the self-image and a final nail in the coffin that wouldn't happen until the following summer to really send me into a downward, but upward in the end, spiral that I couldn't be more thankful for today. I thank God for finally giving me that push and for listening through my sobbing tears to hear my desperate pleas for help. It's true that you never really appreciate the light until you've spent some time in the darkness.

So here's to you, all of you Negative Neds and Nancys that have helped mold me into the raven-haired pistol I am today. Here's to you October 7th. I'm thankful for you every year and for what you represent. To all of you that are on your knees and feeling like things can't get any worse, I pray for you daily. All of you that suffer in mind, body, and soul. Don't let anyone steal your joy. Whatever they are (or aren't) giving back is in no way worth selling your soul's contentment. For my fellow femme fatales, don't get too high that you forget the very low place from whence you came. And to everyone else on their respective journeys... "live high, live mighty, live righteously" (JM).

one love.